The Spider, The Pitbull, and The Kos...oh my

Ok ladies and gents, now it's time for my official UFC 82 predictions. If you're eager to impress your friends with your pre-cognitive abilities, then by all means, read on!

Main fight: Anderson Silva vs. Dan Henderson

This fight is something of a middleweight unification titlefight between UFC middleweight champ Anderson Silva and Pride welterweight(their welterweight is our middleweight...ask the metric system) champ Dan Henderson. This match is definitely a dream match for mma fans out there as, on paper, this match couldn't be any closer to call. My pick is going to have to be for Anderson Silva though. This pick is largely by virtue of the fact that there are far less what-ifs for winning the fight than with Henderson. Can Henderson land a right on the most technical striker of the division who also has a definitive reach advantage?(anythings possible) Can Henderson take Anderson to the ground and not succumb to the submission game(Anderson has a blackbelt from the Nogueira brothers who have both submitted Dan)? Will Dan not be sluggish(his history of Pride fights at this weightclass have been very inadequate)? Whereas the questions surrounding Silva revolve around his cardio(never fought 5 5-minute rounds) and his chin(which while looked good against Franklin, Dan punches much harder). In the end, due to Henderson's granite chin, it's a much better bet that it'll end by submission in fact...Anderson Silva by 3rd round submission.

Heath Herring vs. Cheick Kongo:

This should be a very tough match to predict since I've waffled on my pick 3 or 4 times. Cheick Kongo has incredibly impressive striking, but unfortunately not one punch ko power, but is a mess on the ground. Heath Herring is a veteran of the game who can't seem to beat A-level fighters but does well against B-level fighters. Heath Herring should win this fight with relative ease because his ground game is far better than Kongo's but he may feel emboldened by his new striking trainer Rob Kaman(!!!!). As much as Herring could learn from a trainer of that caliber, his striking won't be up to snuff against Kongo and odds are he'll be too bull-headed to take him down early and by the time he realizes he needs to do that, he'll already be too worn out to take down the Frenchman. Cheick Kongo by decision.

Alessio Sakara vs. Chris Leben:

This fight should be a very entertaining fight to watch...especially if you don't like Chris Leben. After dropping down the middleweight and now under the training eyes of American Top Team, Sakara should have no problem dispatching of Leben. While Leben is always a dangerous striker with serious knockout power, his gas tank was called into question in his last fight with Terry Martin. Expect a gassed Leben to get caught with a left cross in the second round. Alessio Sakara by 2nd round TKO.

Yushin Okami vs. Evan Tanner:

This match is about as evenly matched as it can get. The two fighters are virtually mirror images of each other, but with Tanner having the edge in striking and Okami with the edge in strength. Although, that advantage for Tanner won't help out since this fight is going to the mat early and often. Okami gets the edge in this fight because of his strength and wrestling skills and the fact that Tanner is coming off of a 2 year hiatus. The x-factor in this fight will be how good is Okami off of his back if he is taken down. Yushin Okami by decision.

Chris Wilson vs. Jon Fitch:

Y'know, if the UFC is getting ready to market Fitch as a possible title contender, then they need to put him up against people better than Chris Wilson. It's tough to swallow such a drastic drop in talent from Diego Sanchez to Chris Wilson, but I suppose most of the other welterweights are busy elsewhere...but I digress. Chris Wilson is a tough kid from Team Quest but Fitch is far too good and while it's a definite possibility that Fitch will be able to submit Wilson, I'm banking on good training to keep him out of danger with submissions, but not good enough for the win. Chris Wilson will hold his own, but not much else. Jon Fitch by decision.

Andrei Arlovski vs. Jake O'Brien:

This fight causes me considerable nightmares. Does the nightmare consist of Jake "The Irish Blanket" O'Brien laying on Arlovksi for 15 minutes? Or is it the prospect of Arlovski having his last fight in the UFC? A little bit of both. But sometimes I gather the gumption for optimism and will suspect that Arlovski will get the timing down on Jake O'Brien's takedown attempts and finish with right straight. Andrei Arlovski by 2nd round tko.

Luigi Fioravanti vs. Luke Cummo:

For the record, it's Cummo as in "Koomo" not...well...the other way around...the other way sounds like a porno mascot. Anyways, another very evenly matched fight with two very disciplined strikers coming from two highly-regarded camps. Whereas Luigi excels at the boxing aspect of striking, Luke excels at the kickboxing aspect and when comes to boxing vs. kickboxing fighters squaring off...I tend to side with the kickboxer. Bear in mind Luigi comes from American Top Team and I always have a rough time picking against them. Although, I must confess that a big reason I'm picking Luke is because of an unrequited man-crush. Is it the unibrow? Is it the fact that he drinks his own urine? Who knows? Luke Cummo by decision.

Josh Koscheck vs. Dustin Hazelett:

While I'd love to pull for the hometown kid, Hazelett's in a world of hurt against Koscheck. Hazelett's no slouch but he will not be able to defend Koschecks fantastic takedowns and does not have jiu-jitsu good enough to force Koscheck to make a mistake. Coupled with the fact that Koscheck was embarassed in his fight against Georges St. Pierre, expect Koscheck to take it out on Hazelett. Although, Koscheck's ground and pound isn't that good and he seems to have fallen in love with his overhand right-happy style of striking, I don't expect Koscheck to finish the fight. Koscheck by decision.

Diego Sanchez vs. David Bielkheden:

Bielkheden is a sexy choice for the gambler crowd out there(he's +400 against Diego) but while it may be a smart bet, it's still not the right choice. Training with Brazilian Top Team and having a very respectable submission game won't help much against Diego who tends to eat tentative ground fighters for breakfast. Also, I'm taking into account that Bielkheden lost a decision to Mitsuhiro Ishida who shares a very similar style with Diego's...if slightly less wild. Bielkheden's a tough guy though and he should be able to avoid being finished. Diego Sanchez by decision.

John Halverson vs. Jorge Gurgel:

It's just not a good night to be fighting in front your hometown crowd...again, for Jorge Gurgel. While he is a very capable fighter, he's far too tentative and will invariably be eaten alive by Halverson through aggressive wrestling and striking from the guard. The key to beating Jorge is aggression, and Halverson has that in spades. John Halverson by decision.

Now I know it looks like a lot of decisions and decisions don't always scream excitement, but by and large, the card should be very entertaining. You can expect me gloating or pointing out my horrific predictions come next week. And next week...why Gomi vs. Bang Ludwig has me all giddy.

From Brilliance to the Nadir and Back Again

Dario Argento's third and final entry into the Three Mothers Trilogy has finally concluded with the release of, the appropriately(if slightly uninspired), The Third Mother. For the uninitiated, Dario Argento is something of a deity in horror cinema. He burst onto the italian cinema scene with his inventive and wildly imaginative giallo films but really cemented his legacy with Suspiria, the first in the Three Mothers trilogy. For horror afficianados, Suspiria carries the same weight as other horror classics such as The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, Halloween, The Exorcist, and The Evil Dead that arrived in the post-60's era of horror movies. The film follows American ballet dancer Suzy Banion as she arrives at a German ballet school and encounters a coven of witches behind the many gruesome and outlandish murders shown throughout the movie. Highly stylized with its nightmarish swath of primary colors bathing the screen and its tremendously effective soundtrack, Suspiria is a clinic on bringing surreality of nightmare to the silver screen. Argento followed shortly after with the release of Inferno, the second part of the trilogy, with mixed feelings on the fan side. While still showing flashes of brilliance, many saw it as a step down from Suspiria in nearly every aspect, and they would be correct. This was akin to following Bruce Springsteen and the E Street Band with Phish, suffice to say anybody would be let down. Argento would finish out the decade with Opera. While being very entertaining, if sometimes wildly inconsistent(murder scenes are accompanied by Iron Maiden wailing!), it did mark the end of Argento's brilliant streak of horror films. The films that followed ranged from tepid to downright awful.

And now, after over twenty years of anticipation, Argento finally finished his beloved trilogy, but with what results? Suffice to say, when held next to Suspiria the Third Mother feels woefully inadequate. Although, in and of itself, it does fare better than Inferno did but for very different reasons. For reasons not entirely known, Argento ditched the nightmare aesthetic of the previous two entries for a tone that evokes a true sense of evil not really found in his other movies. The film revolves around Sarah(played by Argento's daughter, Asia) and her adventure in bringing down the titular witch. All the while Sarah tries to avenge her mother's death and dispose of the Third Mother once and for all, she has to deal with a Rome that's on the brink of madness. The streets run rampant with suicide, murder, and wholesale carnage. All the while, the witch's followers chase Sarah all around the country killing anyone they come across. Suffice to say, with it's satanic tone and gnostic imagery the movie comes across as far more evil and sinister than any other film Argento has made. Although while there's a heaping helping of baby-killing evil, there's very little suspense or tension to speak of. While not a true return to form for Argento, it is an extremely enjoyable shocker that is a welcome addition to his pantheon of horror.

Now, I suppose is the time for the real crux of writing this. How is it that an extremely talented filmmaker can suddenly veer from the brilliance of Suspiria to the ho-hum Sleepless? And it's not just Argento, you can count in Francis Ford Coppola(from The Godfather to Jack), Brian De Palma(from The Untouchables to Mission to Mars), and John Carpenter(The Thing to Ghosts of Mars), just to name a few. It's not like aging athletes whose bodies breakdown and can no longer attain their previous glory. Do the creative juices stop flowing? Even if they do, the films lack the technicality and skill previously showcased in their better films. Do many filmmakers just have so many stories to tell and after that they just don't have the motivation to infuse the less personal movies with the same flourish and dedication that they normally would? We may never know because for the filmmakers themselves this would seem a pretty intangible concept and I, for one, sure as hell am not going to ask John Carpenter about the creative process behind Escape From L.A. It begs to question, is Sofia Coppola walking down a similar path? While Marie Antoinette was no Waterloo, it lacked the same verve and vitality as her previous works. But then again, why should I care? My lack of enthusiasm for Marie Antoinette doesn't detract from my enjoyment of Lost in Translation nor will the image of Snake Plisskin catching a gnarly wave take anything away from my immense love for The Thing. It's far more prudent to enjoy the movies you love and look back on them fondly and with appropriate reverence. For the sheer amount of work and passion that these filmmakers pour into their works, it's usually better just to cut them a break on their crappy movie and enjoy what you enjoy. This same principle extends to watching movies in general, but I suppose I should leave that for another discussion.

Primordial Ooze

Ladies and Gents, this is the beginning of yet another personal venture into the blogging world. Hopefully, I'll have the discipline and gung-ho gumption to keep this updated 4-5 times a week. Shocking, I know. You can expect to see posts varying from MMA rants to movie reviews to weekly Degrassi rants. If that doesn't have you salivating uncontrollably, then I would suggest getting a bag of salt and vinegar chips because that'll do the trick(or does that only work on me?). Either way, thanks for coming!